#TweetLikeAStraightPerson is a gem
If I consider you a close friend chances are I’m gonna be at least a little gay with you
I’m hiding naked in my closet because there are mattress delivery men in my bedroom and no one thought to tell me so I was just doing my naked thing after my shower and then I was very unceremoniously shoved into my closet and I don’t know how long I have to be here I don’t have snacks or anything
update: I found a chocolate bar on my shelf but also my phone battery is at 20% I feel like bear grylls
don’t you have clothes in your closet
I wish I went to detention for 9 hours and came out with 3 new best friends and a boyfriend why am I not in an 80’s movie
my english teacher: ‘you never get adventure stories about male nurses’
today at work i asked a customer if he wanted french vanilla creamer with his coffee and he said no because he wanted the “heterosexual” creamer instead and it just blows my mind that straight people say shit about how queer people “force our sexuality on them” because i have never met a single queer person who has done something like assign a sexuality to coffee creamer
what does heterosexual creamer even mean
no homogenized milk
"Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order."-Ann Wilson Schaff
Did you know at the set of Capitan America 2. Chris Evans couldn’t tell apart Scarlett Johanson’s stunt doubles from her so he would start talking to them as in they were Scarlett and the stunt doubles played the game ” How long would it take Chris to figure out im not Scarlett” . Apparently the record was 10 minutes.
i accidentally told my friend the sweetest pick up line ever. i started talking about solipsism (the belief that everything around you was created by your mind) and i went “If everything around me is all my imagination, then you’re the best thing I’ve come up with” she was speechless for a solid five minutes.
McDonald’s has been forced to open its first ever restaurant with a turquoise coloured sign after city planners said the signature yellow sign would be too garish. Officials in Sedona, Arizona told the fast-food giant they were unable to open a restaurant with the trademark yellow logo.This is due to the city’s strict regulations which prevent buildings from ruining the picturesque view of the desert.
Photo credit: Michael Wright/WENN.com
arizona joins the aesthetic movement
is there a name for the John green thing. like the obnoxious culture hes pioneered. the 500 days of summer thing, the hazy acoustic soundtracks , the preoccupation w/ sayingn stuff like “im sorry im so fucked up” or “there are no happily ever afters”. how can I quantify this phenomenon. it’s like neo heroin chic or something